[Retch] NomNomNom

Dander Everywhere! Mai allergeez!

Maybe if you didn't have so many stupid cats you wouldn't have to vacuum so much. Just sayin...

Nicole in New York points us to the ingenious Control A Cat remote control. Just point it at your cat and push buttons like "Here Kitty Kitty," "Show Affection," and "Catch Mice."

8 out of 10 cats ignore it, which means at least two or three of your cats will obey its every command.

Fun New Game: Wake Up Your Cat

No, it's not a drinking game (this time). SomethingAwful has a game that's even better, because it's not quite animal abuse, per se, just animal annoyance and humiliation (which is still legal in all 50 states!). The rules are as follows:

1. Your cat is probably sleeping right now, knowing cats
2. Get a camera
3. Wake that lil bitch up
4. Take a picture of the face your cat makes (maybe wait for a good yawn)
5. Post that shit

Pretty easy, right? If/when this game gets boring with your cat, it's also fun to play with girls, hobos, and bears!


(thanks Jen in SF)

Hey Sockington, Sign My EULA!

Hey, here's a creative use for a cat: get him to sign the end-user license agreements for online stores and social networks and stuff! That way you can't get dragged to court for abusing the Interwebs, and you can sue Facebook when they abuse your privacy!

All you have to do is teach your puss to use a computer keyboard. And once you've done that, you might as well teach it to blog and use Twitter too. Oh, wait, they already can, and they're better at it than humans are. (Eff you AND your medium-size town's worth of followers, @Sockington).

Cat Spars with Printer

Speaking of appliance abuse, Leann from New York sent me this video of a cat attacking a printer. I don't know what it is, but cats hate printers. Printers are like the new mice for cats. If they were to remake "Tom and Jerry," Jerry would be played by an HP Photosmart C4280 AIO printer. No joke.

Ridin' the Roomba

I actually can't hate on this cat too much. Sure, it's draining the Roomba's batteries, but that looks like a lot of fun. But Carol says "Eff you, appliance-abusing cat!"

Is Your Cat Trying to Kill You? (Yes)

I don't need a quiz to tell me that my cats are trying to kill me (just ask my allergist), but if you do, I suggest taking this funny one at catswhothrowupongrass.com. You're probably just missing all the telltale signs.



[Thanks to Sabrina from New York!]

Night of the Living Cat

[Thanks and curses to Whitney from New York...this image will haunt my dreams]

Perpetual Motion Cat

There's something hypnotizing about watching a cat swing back and forth. I can only hope this swing was like 80 feet off the ground.

[Via Carol from The Bronx, via CuteOverload]